I notice that there is intense discussion about authenticity. Especially on social media. Because it’s the most convenient to watch. Books and TED talks are preached, motivational messages are written on bags and T-shirts, texts, drawings and ideas of all kinds are inspired to inspire us to be ourselves. And it seems to me that I have never been further from what we should be.
I don’t like to use the word must. It brings to mind the obligation, the military, the tasks. But I will use it with much conviction in today’s words, because we MUST realize how WE SHOULD be. For us, not for others. For our physical, mental, emotional health.
We eagerly follow opinions, tips, posts and articles that have as their main theme “how to be yourself”. We are feverishly looking for all kinds of motivational books and speeches to validate or recalibrate us on a path considered correct. We share all the videos and quotes that insist on this topic. We’re trying to look like we’re in control. That we know each other, that we know what we want, what we feel, what we are looking for, that we know who we really are.
In a society that promotes linear thinking, that supports consumerism, that treats fashion as a way of “regimentation”, that poisons our body, soul, mind drop by drop, a society in which values are overshadowed by ”dry” influencers and incapable bloggers to carve a unique idea, to be yourself becomes a struggle. A fight of yours with the outside, but also with the inside. A war, all right. All this bombardment, on all sides, with ideas about “how to be”, with fine but aggressive manipulations, which make us compare ourselves with others and forget about ourselves, creates precipices in ourselves, and we end up getting lost. We dress this way, because that’s how X dresses and we think she/he looks fabulous. We arrange our house in this way because that’s how Y does it and it seems to us that it’s taken from design magazines. We style and put on make-up in this way… that’s just how Z does it and we think it’s suitable for us too. We choose this job, we know it’s fashionable and it would bring money. What if we feel miserable in an office, where we have to spend 9-10 hours a day? Does money replace lost time and job dissatisfaction? What if we don’t find ourselves in a relationship with a certain type of man, if he resembles on Instagram the brilliant relationship that the star-star and the young-star show? What if we find ourselves thinking thoughts that do not belong to us? What if we listen to music that doesn’t make our souls and bodies tremble? It’s “fashionable”. Trendy. Hip. That’s what influencers listen to / do.
Why look for ourselves when we can, so easily, look at ourselves from the outside through the eyes of others? It’s tiring and time-consuming. We don’t have time, we never have time. We have time for work, for our partner, for friends, for social media, for buttoning the phone for hours on end, but we don’t have time for ourselves. Because we are a work in progress. There is no break in this work, and the start is very difficult.
We, in fact, need that air of social validation, of recognition from others, of acceptance. Let others accept us, in their world. Without us accepting ourselves, in our world.
We look at the reaction of others when they look at us, but we never do. Oh, yes, we look in the mirror, to see how well we look, how well-made the make-up is, how fancy the outfit is. But we don’t take the time to look inside ourselves, to see if we are where we want to be, if we have the people we want around us, if we have a job that brings us satisfaction, beyond money, if we have a peaceful soul if our body is healthy and our mind is curious.
We make money, but we waste time. We take pictures, but we lose moments. We build perfect images, but in the back, our dreams are falling apart.
We are often guided by the motto “go with the flow” because it sounds nice and spontaneous. And fashionable. And he takes our wave, and strikes us with the earth, and lifts us up again, and strikes us with rocks. The wave must be felt, followed and never underestimated. And we… we have to be careful which wave we choose, more precisely whose wave. We are not in a competition, life is not a short and intense race. It is a marathon, and for a marathon, you need endurance, patience and consistency. And perseverance. You have to be in constant contact with yourself, know your strengths and weaknesses, don’t care what others say and build your own validation. At the beginning and end of the day, you are with yourself. When you are well, you all sit in their place, that in a well-built puzzle game. And what you don’t need is automatically removed. But for that you have to drop all the masks that you drew so carefully, you have to drop all the layers under which your true being hides. For she deserves all your effort and all your attention, she is the one who represents you and without whom you are lost, she is the nucleus that encompasses everything you mean. And you deserve to be real. In your reality, not others’.
In a world where you can be anything, be YOU.
