Close your eyes. Breathe deeply. Look inside you.
What do you see? How do you see yourself? What eyes do you see through?
How do you feel?
In today’s reality, everything is moving fast. We are constantly assailed by overwhelming tasks at work, by overwhelming tasks at home… even the roads traveled in the infernal urban traffic upset us. Everything presses us. It suffocates us. We get tired at work, we get tired at home. We go to bed tired, we wake up exhausted. Somewhere along the way, we lose ourselves.
It is said that every human being has three lives. Professional life, personal (family) life and private life. There are endless discussions on each topic and it seems to me that if I start, I will never finish. We will address them all, but today I want to stop at the last two. Or more precisely, the confusion between them.
Personal life, or family life, is that level of our life in which we are a partner and / or parent. In our personal life we have a very clearly defined role, here we discuss both adaptability and compromise. It is defined by the concept of “who you are in relation to the one next to you”, be it a partner or a child. It is very closely related to privacy, and here I mean the area of your life that is defined by the idea of “who are you in a relationship with you.” One without the other cannot exist, or if they exist, both end up being dysfunctional. To bring us frustration and dissatisfaction. That is why I affirm with all my heart and with all conviction that the foundation of the other two “lives” is private life. Your life with yourself. Take a few minutes and face each other. How are you? Who are you? Can you look deep into your eyes and soul and say “that’s me and I’m enough”? Are you smiling? Do you know that you alone have the strength to move a mountain? Do you know that you can calm storms alone? Know that you can!
Fear is the most frightening emotion
We often get lost in the roles that society imposes on us and in which we end up breaking with ourselves. We end up crowding in places where we don’t fit. We get stuck in puzzles we don’t belong to. And we do this because we are not enough. Because we are afraid, especially of loneliness. Fear is the most frightening emotion, because it weakens our power to BE, to create OURSELVES, to draw the reality of our soul. And out of fear, we run away from ourselves, to others. And those others may or may not be the ideal choice.
The people we choose to have in our lives are essential to our development as authentic, strong, and satisfied individuals. On any level. And we choose people according to us. Some are gifts, others are lessons. They are all experiences through which we know and reconnect with ourselves. Or we divide from ourselves. Here we must be very, very careful. For if we do not have a healthy and stable connection with ourselves, we can fall prey to those who can “vampirize” us, energetically and spiritually.
I don’t think there are bad people, or malicious people. There are only people who want to cover their needs. And the needs come from shortages. I do not apologize in the name of anyone and I do not consider that the goal forgives the means, but this is how I see things. We are all in search of happiness, as everyone perceives it. But the way we want to reach it is subjective and everyone must assume it.
But we are not put on this earth to meet the needs of others. But ours. We are not servants for anyone else, but for ourselves. We are not masters of another, but of ourselves. We are nobody’s doctor and psychologist. We don’t have to fix anyone. We must not take “broken” cups and stick them with our souls. We must not seek support outside, but inside. We must not accept anything that hurts. We don’t have to build a wall around it, but we don’t have to be a bridge for anyone. We must not run away from anyone, but we must not run away from ourselves. We cannot love another if we do not love ourselves. We must not fill the silence. We do not have to meet desires. We don’t have to read thoughts. NO ONE HAS TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE HAPPY. We are the creators of our own lives.
Everything comes smoothly, like crystal clear spring water over the clean mountain stones, when we are at peace with ourselves. When we understand ourselves in our complexity and simplicity, when we assume our good and bad and when we make peace with our demons. When we make friends with ourselves and put ourselves first. Then all the other puzzle pieces will be in the right place.
